Idle Thoughts

Don't look for revenge. It perpetuates the cycle of bad karma. But in this life, if you love and trust in God, you can expect reparations. "Not of good works, but of the grace of God" (simply for Love) are we HEALED.

I have a mother who has an evil streak. She has given me strength and resiliency. She was always necessary. Pain in childhood is inoculation for the world.

Do not be convinced by flatterers. Pay attention to the one who points out your faults.

Embarrassed

Norman Mailer once said that sometimes you say or write something and then you feel like breaking eggs over your head. That's how I feel about the dumb comment I made about gay-bashing. It's not over. It still goes on. Discrimination continues, too.
I just heard a young woman describe a case to me on Saturday where a biased pig judge gave felonies to a group of black lesbians who were defending themselves against a male attacker. Another person, a man, fought against the attacker too but got away and was never identified. The more you talk to people, the more you learn.

P.S. to that: It was when I started doing substance abuse counseling, talking to addicts as well as their kids (I also did child care) that I began to clearly see that none of us, not one, had a satisfactory childhood. There's always someone, something to blame for what went wrong. Never, ever, has it been "Happy Days" for anybody, or even "Father Knows Best."

Two Revelations

I've had a few revelations lately. One was, I've decided that gay marriage is okay, even if they want to raise children. What the hell. Let them. the second was, I'm not waiting around for an art show. It looked like I was going to have one, but then the deal sort of fell through and i was left hanging. I don't know, I think it's too much trouble anyway. I'll just go on sending paintings to people I love.

I want to post my picture to this blog but I'm waiting for my lazy boyfriend because I don't know how to do it

Do you know a "computer guy?" Aren't they just the stuffiest, most arrogant bastards? They say, "I'll do it tomorrow," but tomorrow never comes. Meanwhile they let you struggle and fume and sweat it out till you either get it, or you don't. And they never tell you their secrets. Oh, no. They just sit down (when they do finally sit down), press a few buttons so fast that you don't know what just happened, your problem is fixed, and you have no idea how it was done! And then they look at you with that condescending smile like, "Look how easy that was!"

Why get married, anyway?

Why not just make common law a common thing. Who needs to get married? Let it be for heteros and gays too.

It's another all-nighter

What now? Take a nap? Not tired. Eat breakfast? Not hungry. Read more of my e-mails? Kinda boring. Open a book? perhaps. Wash the dishes? Not really!!!!!
6 am again, got the 6 am what to do blues.

I tried to figure out how to close this blog

I could not find the answer. So I am stuck with it.

Tonight I am avoiding doing some work

The more I avoid doing this work, the closer it gets to morning. I will try to sleep. I don't know why it's so hard to do this work. I don't know why I'd rather do anything else but that. I've been playing around all night with my e-mail and this and that and avoiding this work. I keep asking myself, what is wrong with me? I can't seem to focus.